I never liked the term housewife. I was never fond of homemaker either. Now Domestic Goddess that I can live with.
My house was clean last week, sorry you missed it.
Sorry darling, I've resigned as general manager of the universe.
Nothing gets me in the mood like a man doing dishes.
My next house won't have a kitchen, only vending machines.
My menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
I treat my husband like a God. Burnt offerings daily.
Married life is like the pleasure of a warm bath. After awhile it's not so hot.
With my husband I often slip into something more comfortable, like denial.
Darling, it's perfect! Did you keep the receipt?
How can they expect me to cook and clean after a long day of shopping?
Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another cup of coffee.
Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it.
It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.
I like hugs and I like kisses but what I really love is help with the dishes.
If it weren't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done.
Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
Behind every successful women is a substantial amount of coffee.
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
Want some more laughs or inspiration why don't you try these books:
